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Twice a year, huge white tents descend upon midtown’s Bryant Park on 40th and 6th.  Fashionistas bark orders to get their garb in gear as their assistants engage in the mind-numbing ritual of organizing highly coveted invitations by days of the week.  Yep, these are the sights and sounds of Fashion Week.

While Fashion Week may be the time to premiere next season’s collections, you will not find the best show on any runway.  It is on the streets, which is an excellent opportunity to check out the shakers and the breakers of the fashion scene. 

Let’s start with the curious uninvited clans who hang out by the crib to stargaze.  Perhaps they are budding fashion mavens just starting out.  I have to admit, I used to be a member of this group before I started working for 7th on Sixth nine years ago.  However, nine years roughly translates to 30 seasons – in other words, a fashion lifetime – and I’ve moved on since then.

Moving on, you will find bootleg designer climbers with their pop-up fashion shows on the sidewalks.  Don’t be distracted by their guerilla tactics.  Frankly, there's nothing worth seeing.  These climbers just block the sidewalk.

Hawkers hand out the fashion newspapers.  Being the fashionmonger that I am, my day does not start without The Daily.  Lord help me if I miss something.  The Daily satisfies my need to know the goings on from the previous day, and I secretly scour its pages in the hopes that my name or photo will appear.

From the sidewalk, up the park stairs, past the security guards, and through the white doors is The Lobby.  The Lobby is like a very stylish bullpen.  The invited, and sometimes not invited, wait to enter the venues where the fashions shows are held.  Lined with sponsor’s booths, one can always make out with a lot of excellent free crap, like bottled water from Evian, hair products from REDKEN and tons of facial cream from various cosmetic companies.  There are no excuses for having bad hair or dry skin during Fashion Week.

With the lobby come The Lobby Loungers.  These people hang out in the lobby all day everyday.  Sometimes they even go to the shows.  There are times when I have wanted to blatantly walk up to them and ask, “Who exactly are you?”  But you gotta love 'em – they are the true devoted fans of fashion.

For myself, I enjoy parking at the info desk the heart of the lobby.  After all, this is the best view.  I can see if any stars walk in and hear the crazy questions people ask.  “Where is the tent?” “Has Paris been here yet today?”

Info Desk Guy David is surely the most patient man to exist.  He is the Info Center.  Even though David answers the same questions 12 hours a day for 10 days, he does his job with absolute perfection.  Fashion writer Hillary Alexander cannot start Fashion Week without first chatting it up with Info Desk Guy.

As I dish at the Info Desk being ever so fashion fabulous, I listen for the rumbles of motorcycles engines.  Then I know, the Harley Davidson Guys have arrived.  There is something about motorcycles and black leather that fill the night air.

As my boys pull up to the crib, they rev their engines.  I rev mine, too.  Their bikes (I mean hogs) glisten in the night light.  After a few showbiz wheelies, the Harley Davidson guys park, hop off their hogs ever so coolly and proceed to walk up the park stairs with a smooth stroll of years of riding and bar fights.

Harley Davidson guys enter the lobby all dressed in black – black tee's, tight jeans and chaps.  These are weathered, older, gray-haired, goatee-wearing scar-faced hunks of men. With dramatic pause, they take a stance…and just stand there.  Basically that is really all they need to do.  I have always imagined myself chatting with these fellows.  With their cool factor is in orbit, I would tell them that I would love to check on their hogs and make sure everything cool.  However, what I really want to say is "How many men have you killed?"

Hey, it’s Fashion Week.  “Make Fashion Not War” rings through my head.  These are fashion Harley guys.  It is all about the appearances, and these guys are sexy nonetheless.